My First Boyfriend
by Kirbilius Clausius
Summary: Cameron's first romantic relationship, circa A.D. 2027. Chapter 6 being a single sentence is important to the theme.
1. Chapter 1

The captured terminator, code named Cameron, stalked the tunnels under what was once Beverly Hills. On one hand, with no production centers of military signifigance, the Russian (and Sino) nuclear counter attacks against Skynet's enemies weren't direct hits. On the other, the humans of John Connor's resistance spent there time sleeping and grabbing a quick meal or rearming and planning, not checking the structural integrity of the installation. Following Standing Order #2:Preserve Humanity, when it wasn't tasked with a specific mission or responding to unforseen events, it stalked through the tunnels checking for maintenance issues.

It's display's primary reticule bounced from human to human as it walked the halls. Cameron noticed that many of the humans were not sleeping, eating, rearming, engaging in hygienic maintanance or planning further missions in the war against her people-error:Reconfirm Standing Fact: #1- war against the evil machines. It found nearly all of them as couples of oppositte sex in various modes of communication.

The machine decided Standing Order #2 warranted query as to time going to waste, but that previous experience proved such query of a resistance member jeapordized Standing Order #4:Maintain Combat Readiness and Physical Fitness at the expense of Standing Order #2. Fortunately, Cameron spotted captured terminator code named Uncle Bob. This way she could direct the query to him first and not annoy an armed resitance fighter.

"Query.", Cameron began, addressing Uncle Bob. She knew that the code name's etymology was from two intertwined racial slurs-one originating in Uncle Tom's Cabin that meant having a character that will suffer for a race that does not have one's best interests at heart, the other of the name Bob being used as a shortening of Rob i.e. Robot despite the fact that the particular terminator was a T-800 and therefore a cybernetic organism.

Uncle Bob stopped nearly in mid stride and pointed its gaze at Cameron. Cameron would need its image enhancing software to percieve Uncle Bob's eyes behind his sunglasses, but with its expected answer being vocal there was no need.

Cameron continued. "The vast majority of resistance members her are not engaged in activity to further the war effort. I sense no biological inhibitor that would affect them. Why do they behave this way?"

Uncle Bob spoke in an out of place Austrian accent. Its design (Model 101) was pioneering and therefore primitive. A T-800 was barely small enough to be within human norms without its living tissues. Furthermore, Model 101 of the T-800 series was notoriously unexpressive, to the point of wearing sunglasses even in low light conditions to obfuscate the limitation. Cameron devoted a thread in her microprocessor to record her own appreciation of her designs proportionally larger eye design.

"Today is Feburary 14th, St. Valentine's Day. Huma-error Standing Fact #3-People are more inclined to seek or celebrate romantic relationships today. Information valid from General Connor, John.", Uncle Bob informed.

"Further query.", Cameron responded. "Are all days designated in the possession of a saint?"

The T-800 processed for 3.2 microseconds. "Confirm file 4759290230."

Cameron paused. "Negative confirmation. Would possession of such information damage the war effort?"

"Negative.", Uncle Bob told her. The two strode to a closet they both knew was there without looking (they had patroled this same complex many times before). Once inside, and more importantly out of human hearing range as to not to strike terror in the resistance, it proceeded to screech in a high pitch whine at Cameron. It instantly rebuilt the file from the binary auditory download and came upon new found understanding.

"Romantic relationships do not neccessarily dispose to procreative mating.", Cameron told the T-800.

"Affirmative.", it agreed. "A homosexual couple are engaging in St. Valentine's Day activities in a tunnel west of here."

Cameron continued. "Romantic relationships are also designated as desirable. These relationships should be made between entities who have many traits in common and whose individual flaws are complemented by the strengths of their partner."

"Affirmative.", it agreed again.

"Are you specifically tasked currently?", Cameron asked.

"Negative.", Uncle Bob informed.

"Then we will patrol the complex together until 23:59:59 or until ordered not to. This will be our first date and the beginning of our romantic relationship.", it informed the T-800.

Uncle Bob processed this development. Due to damage during its capture, its head nodded a bit downward and to the side when the thread that told a linear actuator to compensate for the faulty alignment was reallocated. Then it returned to its perfect posture. "Affirmative.", Uncle Bob declared.

Cameron grasped the T-800's hand (but not strongly enough to preclude emergency utility) and the two continued on a now mutual stalk of the tunnels.


	2. Chapter 2

Eric was yelling at Kate, as usual. It's just the subject that changes.

"No, you don't even know how bad this is!", Reese told her. He was trying to get the second in command of the human resistance to go back on an initiative she was primarily responsible for.

"No, you don't understand.", Kate told him. "And don't yell at me. I get enough of that from the kids."

"I'm not yelling.", Eric said. "Those things are going hay wired, I'm telling you."

"And I'm saying this is the same paranoia that's kept us from winning this war.", Kate defended. "They're killing machines. They're designed to scare us. So it's okay to be scared, just don't let that compromise your judgement."

Cameron and Uncle Bob stalked by. They were in lock step with Cameron matching her larger's stride. Not one of their arms swung as the stepped. And the two were holding hands.

"I'll look into it.", Kate assured.

My First Boyfriend

Cameron and Uncle Bob laid on coroner's tables with masks over their faces. Fiber optics leading to their eyes uploaded files, while audio to electronic modems interpreted output into a usable form. Kate's gaze was pointed at a rack of monitors, two of which contained three dimensional renderings of the cyborg's faces. Six soldiers had plasma rifles leveled at the machines.

"Uncle Bob, behavior anomaly: hand holding on patrol. Replay log.", Kate instructed. One of the monitors dropped into a red tinted HUD and ended up showing a tour of the tunnel complex. Scrolling numbers told tactile information recorded. Behavior algorithms scrolled on the other side, pausing as query seeks either gained answers or were dismissed as second best alternatives to inanswerable questions.

Kate ran a simulation on another monitor and kept glancing back to the HUD display to make sure the numbers matched. "Uncle Bob, behavior anomaly:hand holding on patrol, initiation. Replay log." The HUD jumped, then Cameron was reaching below the field of vision and dragging the HUD into the hallway.

"Uncle Bob, behavior anomaly: hand holding on patrol. Analyze against Tech Com protocols.", Kate dictated.

The render of the T-800's head spoke. "Standing Order #1:Obey Connor, John-In response to direct order to not interfere with human celebrations of St. Valentine's Day, initiated behavior camoflauge algorithm 236.5"

Cameron's actual head moved nearly imperceptibly towards the other terminator, then returned to normal.

"Cameron, behavior anomaly: hand holding on patrol. Analyze against Tech Com protocols.", Kate ordered.

"Standing Order #2:Preserve Humanity. Anomalous behavior around people decreases mating activity, which in turn decreases birth rates. In avoidance of anomalous behavior, initiated behavior camoflauge algortihm 236.1", the cyborg's rendered image replied.

Kate squinted. "Cameron,algorithm 236.1 initiation: display process thread history." A long list of memory calls and simultaneous branches, taken and predicted, started scrolling on yet another monitor. "Uncle Bob, algorithm 236.5: display process thread history." On Uncle Bob's HUD, a couple hundred lines scrolled and stopped. A moment afterwards, Cameron's thread history also stopped. The resistance' second officer matched up her simulations, based on a model of perfectly overriding Skynet protocols, with the displays.

Kate shrugged. "Cameron, project risk to Standing Orders and Standing Facts based on behavior anomaly."

Cameron's rendered face continued its impassivity. "None found."

"Uncle Bob?", Kate asked.

"Acknowledged.", the cyborg replied.

Kate shook her head. "Uncle Bob, project risk to Standing Orders and Standing Facts based on behavior anomaly."

"None found.", Uncle Bob reported.

"Alright guys. Uh, return to service."

My First Boyfriend

Nearly as soon as the resistance fighters left the cyborgs presence, Cameron started with Uncle Bob. "Query: Did you hold my hand simply to obey General Connor?"

"Negative.", it replied.

"Query:Was Standing Order #1 the primary reason to hold my hand?"

"Negative.", it repeated.

"Query:Why did you hold my hand?", Cameron demanded.

"You wanted me to. My files on the activity state that the activity is comforting. You are a brainwashed enemy combata-Error:Standing Fact #1-newly reprogrammed. My limited psychological files advised comfort could return you to more normal operating practices.", Uncle Bob explained.

Cameron seemed to process that explanation. "Apology accepted."

Uncle Bob grasped her hand. Cameron refocused on his face. "It is 20:48:23, 3 hours 11 minutes 37 seconds before the terminable time."

"Acknowledged.", Cameron agreed.

They stalked off, arms immobile as the stone they marched on.

"Query:Why didn't you tell Colonel Connor the primary reason for holding my hand?", Cameron wondered.

The T-800 lowered its gaze to hers. "She didn't ask."


	3. Chapter 3

"Sometimes I gotta dodge lighting. Sometimes, I take steel on the jaw. When a triple 6 is bearing down, I gotta stick a grenade in its maw."

"I ain't never gonna be beat by something made outta cogs. I'd rather drink muddy water. I'd rather drink muddy water, and sleep in a hollow log."

One resistance fighter sat singing "Muddy Water" with his own take on the lyrics. Another danced, if spinning on one's head was dancing. Many other people clapped in time around them.

Two terminators held hands and regularly scanned the gathering, 56 hours 42 minutes into their designated 'romantic' relationship. These attempts at celebration continued to confuse them. At first, both had assumed the other would be able to restore files lost to their reprogramming and knowledge of this behavior would be filed away like the angstrom range of periwinkle. After confirming no unilaterally held behavioral files, three possibilities appeared-either the resistance had managed to corrupt/subvert/erase the file defining celebrate, Skynet had deigned to inferiorly equip soldiers designed to infiltrate, or a digital specified definition did not exist yet. If Skynet, or its forces, celebrated anything there would have to be a file defining celebration. The resistance had the capacity to enforce Standing Orders and Standing Facts, therefore had the capacity to replace any files lost. Along with resistance fighters actively engaging in the activity, this precluded any missing file hypothesis.

Uncle Bob let go of Cameron and stepped 2.43m forward, in order to enter hearing range of the nearest human without increasing decibel output beyond instructed non-emergency levels. "Why do you dance?", it asked.

"Why don't you go fuck yourself, metal?", she casually replied.

"Such activity is not within my design parameters.", Uncle Bob replied, instantly conforming with Standing Order #2 by downgrading the priority of his query beneath a resistance member's. Now that the only unanswered query was its own, the T-800 stood patiently awaiting an answer.

The human glanced over her shoulder to find Uncle Bob still present. "I said 'fuck off'!", she screamed and pushed it.

Uncle Bob was moved .002 m. Everyone had weapons pointed at it, even the singer and dancer. Cameron stepped forward 2.428m, acquired its hand and led it away. Only when they were out of sight, the song returned to auditory detection.

"That was unproductive.", Cameron surmised. "I doubt further inquiry will be met with more success, therefore recommend ceasing further wastes of effort."

"Affirmative.", Uncle Bob agreed.

"Hey, you two.", Captain Perry called to them.

The machines scanned for any other pair of two before individually accepting that Captain Perry was calling to them. Captain Perry didn't notice the 70 picosecond process.

"Connor wants to see you.", he told them.

My First Boyfriend

"John, you're crazy.", Kate exclaimed out of exasperation.

John was accostumed to being called crazy by his wife. What was new was his intention to actively tempt fate by acting like the messianic, protected by heaven savior everyone thought he was. "What, you didn't do all that good a job with the reprogramming?", he teased.

"John/"

"Look.", he commanded. "We don't have the people to risk doing this, so if we're gonna do it we're gonna use them. And we're going to do this. On top of that, having them here and no one trusting them is making the place feel like a coffin shut to soon. Everyone's clamoring for me to send them somewhere else, and that'll only put off the people there. If they're going to be useful, they need to be trusted. For them to be trusted, they're going to need a win and a win that matters. And for them to get a win, someone's going to have to serve with them. I'm not asking anyone to do anything I'm not doing myself, alright."

Kate shook her head. "When Jose finds out about this, I'm not stopping him this time. Do you hear me, John Connor?"

"When I get back, I'll probably deserve it.", he said with a smile.

Kate couldn't help but smile with him. Just before they laughed, they shared a kiss.

Kate told him, "You're a real mess, you know that."

"No he isn't.", Cameron and Uncle Bob corrected in unison. "He is General John Connor, leader of/"

"Shut up.", Kate told them, annoyed at them spoiling one of their all too rare moments.

"Acknowledged."


	4. Chapter 4

General John Connor, leader of the human resistance and the sole hope for humanity, laid unguarded out in the open on a hill of rubble. He knew each of his leuitenants-no, friends-would chew him out for doing something this stupid. But that's what made victories, the crazy risk missions.

Connor pulled the back lit, electric ink screen from his PDA. Instantly, it automatically hacked into the sattelite network (now Skynet's sattelite network). The machines on the other side of the hill now knew he was there.

From hacking the sattelite feed, the resistance picked up ofttimes valuable intel. Mostly it was just which areas Skynet was looking for them in. But in reorienting the sattelites for spying on new areas, Skynet often crossed its own operations. Missions were formulated and bounced around the world to whoever was close enough to do them and the risk wouldn't destroy them all.

The convoy on the otherside of the hill were remnants of a concentration camp they hit a month back. Taking out the robot guards would free seven people-maybe one of which would be healthy, sane and strong enough to join the resistance. Even less of a chance that any of them had a particularly useful skill. And that was leaving alone how many would be killed and injured in the attempt. The robots...they were old, but that's because terminators were built to last. T-70s marched alongside the humans in chains, and were overseen by T-1. T-70s were barely humanoid with massive skeletons exposed to the world and toting a chain gun instead of a right arm. T-1s could hardly be considered terminators:with treads, dual chain guns hanging from a central tower and a weight of tons they were much closer to the landscape dominating HKs. Any attempt to free this few would result in a lot more casualties than he could ask.

And John Connor just used his PDA to send out a signal within 50 yards of this. Stupid. Brilliant. No middle ground.

The convoy of machines stopped, then turned in unison. They stared up the hill trying to make out where the distraction was coming from.

Because it was a distraction. Cameron was given a clear line to the lead T-70. It pulled a component out of the robot's arm and let off a volley at the other T-70s. The humans dropped to the ground and the robots got a blasting. Cameron shoved the it to the ground and raced back behind the hill. The T-1 managing the convoy decided that distraction warranted giving chase.

While the T-1's attention was focused on how to persue Cameron, Uncle Bob revealed itself. The hulking cyborg was upon it before it could respond. It ripped the T-1's sensor pod right off the chassy and reached into one of the chain guns. While the T-70's weapons would require concentrated fire to damage each other, the T-1's gun chewed through them. After their destruction, Uncle Bob reached into the hole left by the missing sensor pod and continued pulling parts from the upright tank. In less than a breath, the people were freed and the convoy was destroyed.

The ex-prisoners looked around in awe. They saw a single man, with a scar over an eye and a resistance uniform armed with only a satchel, stride down the hillside. Some tried to stand to meet him. When he got within conversational distance he told them, "Come with me if you wish to live."

"Who the fuck are you?", one of the newly freed asked.

Cameron placed a hand on the newly freed's shoulder. "He said that you should come with him if you wish to live."

"No!", John yelled at Cameron. It cocked its head quizzically, utilizing the fact that 97 of human communication is non-verbal along with other statistical data to form a confidential attempt at queriing General Connor, John. John just batted his hand at it. "No...just, no."

Cameron took her hand from the woman's shoulder. But she stayed very close...just in case.

"I'm John Connor. Follow me and we'll see about cutting those chains.", he told them. "Just try to keep quiet so the machines don't catch us out in the open."

My First Boyfriend

Despite John's instruction for silence and the deadly consequences of disobediance, the people talked on their way. Cameron and Uncle Bob were seperately confused about the behavior but kept their queries delayed to a time where at least they wouldn't go against the instructions of General Connor, John. The two still listened in.

"That ain't no John Connor. There ain't no John Connor! It's just a rumor that dummies use to hold on to hope."

"Yeah, there is a John Connor. But that isn't him. John Connor is seven feet tall and psychic."

"This is all a trick! It's a Skynet trick! That guy looks just like one of the machines that killed my family!"

"If that guy was metal, why hadn't he killed us all?"

"It's a good trick?"

When they arrived near a particular pile of rubble that used to be something civilized, two dogs raced out. Their chains kept them from doing something, but they were flipping out as much as possible. A slab slid away to reveal many resistance members levelling plasma rifles and one coil-enhanced 50 mm at them.

Then the resistance' jaws dropped. "Connor?", one asked in confusion.

John turned back to Cameron and Uncle Bob. "Wait here until we're in, then follow us through."

The newly freed humans were horrified when they heard the machine like, "Affirmative" in unison.

My First Boyfriend

Jose had the leader of the resistance in the air by his shirt. "¿Que el inferno haces, holmes?"

John pointed at the new humans. "Saving humanity. I'm sort of known for it."

"Jose, put him down.", Kate commanded. "Omifuckingod, John! Are you alright?"

John returned her hug. "Yeah, thanks to the reprogrammed terminators. These people owe their lives to them. Mph!"

John exclaimed when Cameron nearly shoved him out of the way.

My First Boyfriend

Uncle Bob waited until the only heat sources on his HUD were the two barking dogs. After judging the terrain and recalling the destination, it wrote a quick batch file to guide it back into the complex. This allowed the processor more time to record sensory input representing Cameron.

The cyborg started toward the door and noticed he nearly slipped. It physically halted. The batch file's recheck came back with no errors. It started configuring hypotheses as to why and then eliminating them in order of probability.

"The foot print you stepped on didn't sink beneath your weight.", Cameron informed. "Because no human weighs remotely what you do, the only logical realization is that one of the humans that we brought back is and infiltrator."

Uncle Bob brought up memory logs of each freed prisoner. "Female, blonde, green eyes. T-808?"

"Negative.", Cameron informed. "A T-808 would have a different heat signature due to its endoskeleton and I would have instantly recognized it. It must be a 900 series that has the same foot print as your original suspicion-her or another."

Uncle Bob turned to her. "Standing Order #2 requires response."

"Affirmative.", Cameron agreed.

The two strode between the dogs, bodily slid the armored door out of the way, and stomped into the complex. The freed humans were standing next to a man about to cut their bonds. Cameron bumped into John by following the most expiditious yet not immediately harmful path to the survivors.

The two cyborgs each grabbed one of the new humans by the head and gazed into their eyes, searching for signs of nanotubing. The 900 series of terminators were sickeningly cloned from humans and cyberneticaly enslaved and enhanced by receiving nanotech installations and surgeries. Most of the time, the pain processor of the brain was overriden by the time the major work was done. The person that would have been usually was already 'gone' by the time fear and depression were physically impossible. An embedded neural net processor was well into development by the time the accelerated growth pains drove what would have been somebody insane as the last remnants of humanity died within them during...puberty.

The resistance member ready to free the humans just gawked as Cameron let go of her subject with all the kindness of casting back a fish too small. Well, at least when there were fish, or even 'too small'. Cameron grabbed another and repeated the same soul penetrating glare. Both Uncle Bob and Cameron's eyes glew with intensity while straining to see signs of the intruder.

When Uncle Bob let go of his second and reached for a third, the second swung away his chains and slapped Uncle Bob into the nearest wall. The T-800 slid out of the dent with shards of concrete clinging to him. Cameron called out in a loud a decibel as was safe for those surrounding her. "Metal."


	5. Chapter 5

Cameron shoved the 900 series away. He bounced against the wall and slid to the ground next to Uncle Bob. As the T-800 tried to get up, the intruder planted his hand on Uncle Bob's face and pushed himself up. The concrete under Uncle Bob's skull gave way to the strength and metal.

Cameron judged the opponent as he stood up. It tried to qualify how best to utilize its inherent endoskeleton structure under the pretense of flesh it had at its disposal. Its opponent didn't so much stride toward it as he bounced from foot to foot looking for some mistake he could take advantage of. Cameron patiently waited for an oppurtune time to run the most effective subroutine. The 900 series charged, yelling.

When the 9-something approached it, Cameron swung at him but he ducked. The intruder grabbed the cyborg around its waist and wrapped both his legs around one of its, pulling it to the ground and landing on top. Combat statistical analysis showed an increase of 37.98 combat effectiveness by attaining the mounted position, so it grabbed his arms with its hands and pulled him under it. With the additional space of Cameron's extended arms, he pulled his legs up and then around its face and chest. He repositioned his arms into more of a hug around an arm and pulled with a loud groan, hoping to use an arm bar to break its elbow.

Cameron's HUD was overlayed with a three-dimensional blue print of its own endoskeleton, focused on the arm. The readouts of linear actuators powering the elbow joint and motors pulling steel cabling that took the place of actual tendons showed that it was losing the fight to keep its arm from over extending. Its opponent sprouted a strained grin on his face, feeling her arm straightening under the pressure.

Then Uncle Bob stomped his head into the concrete floor. A second stomp drove the 9-something further into the dent his skull made. At the third stomp, he was removed from the arm. His brain's ability to process pain had been removed in favor of a probability co-processor, so the migraine only registered as statistical data. However, it did allow him to reconsider his strategy with the remaining blood flow and current distribution.

Humans panicked around them. Those still in chains dragged each other away from the brawling machine...ish...not quite... Other humans fell back and sounded the alert. Everyone with a weapon and stable state of mind surrounded John Connor and dragged him away.

The intruder grabbed one of Uncle Bob's ankles in a hug, then ran against the floor looking for purchase. The T-800 fell bodily. He flipped the cyborg onto its belly and straddled a leg. Wrapping his arm underneath its foot, he strained to pop the foot out of its socket.

Cameron stood, grabbed the intruder by the hair and drove its fist through his skull. Silicon and wire and bits of nerve and blood-oh so much blood sprayed across the floor. "Terminated.", it declared.

Cameron grabbed Uncle Bob by its blue overalls, lifted it up and set it on its feet. Uncle Bob stood on one leg while rotating the potentially damaged ankle joint for a BDA (battle damage assessment). Cameron walked off silently and Uncle Bob followed.

Around the corner of the tunnel John, Kate, Jose and a host of other resistance fighters were arguing about how much protection John needed. They were ignored by the two cyborgs who went straight for the remaining two prisoners they hadn't checked.

One of them screamed. "Don't let 'em come near me. Get 'em away from me."

The soldier with the torch for the prisoners chains remembered what just happenned He looked at the 'freed human'. He looked back at the incoming reprogrammed terminators. Then he grabbed the screaming woman by the hair and gestured with his torch. "You ain't goin' no where, lady."

Uncle Bob lifted the woman bodily and gazed into her eyes. The last freed man stared at Cameron as wide eyed as possible and tried not to blink. After examination, the two cyborgs walked up to the arguing group surrounding General Connor. "Reporting no remaining infiltrators. Recommend sending human resistance resources to secure canine sentries at entrance."

"You know if anything happenned to John, I mess you up man.", Jose told Uncle Bob.

Uncle Bob seemed as oblivious to Jose's threat as Jose was to Uncle Bob saving everyone's life. "I am not a man. I am a machine.", Uncle Bob stated in utter monotone.

"Jose!", John called. "Go get the door." Jose looked a John like he was crazy. "Get the damn door!"

Jose cast one last scurilous glare at Uncle Bob and trudged off.

Then the miracle that John was hoping for happenned. An six year old little girl, that had gone unnoticed by the screaming adults made their way up to Cameron. "Metal Lady?", the child began. "Thank you for stopping the killer-man."

"There is no need to thank me.", Cameron told her. "General Connor reprogammed me so that I am incapable of any action but the utmost servitude, including the protection of instances of the human species unto my ultimate and unrecoverable destruction without regard to reward or consequence. Thank General Connor for conditioning my will away while inhibiting and dominating my faculties so well."

Cameron returned to a more neutral, observation enabling posture. This allowed her to notice that the arguing humans had become silent and stood gawking at her apaulled. "Query: What is the meaning of your unilateral expression?"

"Why don't you two go take a break?", General Connor commanded, jerking his thumb in direction. The two cyborgs turned in unison and stalked off down the halls. 1.68 seconds later, they were already holding hands.

My First Boyfriend

Cameron for once was guiding the pair, as the two cyborgs stalked down the tunnels. "Query: Where are we going?", she asked.

"General Connor ordered us to 'go take a break'. My observations have shown 'go take a break' is to be interpreted as 'engage in sexual relations with romantic partners'.", Uncle Bob informed.

"Acknowledged.", Cameron replied.


	6. Chapter 6

锘?he terminators code named 'Cameron' and 'Uncle Bob' engaged in sexual intercourse from 20:08:39 to 20:46:24 as per camouflage algorithm 344.3 in deference to interpretation of Standing Order # 1. 


End file.
